Shine Too Brightly
by LilPippin
Summary: John needs to tell his older brother something important and doesn't know quite how to approach him.


**A/N: It's been ages since I've written a Thunderbirds fic. This is just a short something or other to get me back with our boys. God... I can't ever get over how long it has been.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Thunderbirds, Adam Lambert, Were the World Mine, or any classic works used in this piece. **

* * *

><p><strong>Shine Too Brightly<strong>

**SEPTEMBER**

The last thing Scott Tracy expected to be doing on the Friday evening before the homecoming dance was watching a c_olorful _musical with his 14 year old genius brother. Their father had taken the boys out to the arcade that evening, and Virgil had decided to join because he "wanted to help Dad out with the kiddos." Scott knew that, in actuality, Virgil had set his sights on one of the female workers behind the ticket counter, a girl in Scott's grade who'd gotten in trouble multiple times for cheating on tests. Apparently, she was a fantastic violinist and Virgil found that hot as hell. Something about the hands, but Scott couldn't see it.

He and John had the house to themselves, which was …you know… nice and quiet. But Scott would've rather been with his girlfriend, Katrina, with her bright green eyes and full red lips and her fucking delicious skin fragranced with the sexiest perfume he'd ever breathed in. Unfortunately, she'd planned a date with her girls that evening and would be unavailable until their pre-dance dinner plans. Shit. He'd forgotten to get a corsage. He'd have to do that tomorrow.

Regardless, John had jumped on the chance for sibling bonding time, saying there was an old movie he'd really wanted to watch with him. Scott loved John. He really did; he was his brother and all. But he just didn't understand why movie night with John had to consist of Shakespeare and musicals and… is she_ supposed_ to be a fairy?

"It's a modern adaptation of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, Scott. Of course she's a fairy."

"I never read that one."

"Mrs. Carlton made us read it in 8th grade!"

"I didn't skip the reading assignment, John. We just did _Julius Caesar_ instead. I liked it."

"Of course you did," John said, sighing. After a moment, "Are you understanding the movie, then?"

"Yeah I think so. The flower makes everyone turn gay, right."

"No, Scott. The flower makes them fall in love with the first person they see. Timothy is the one choosing to make everyone gay."

"I still don't see why it's a musical? And the funny language, really?"

"It's an art film. Their interpretation is actually really beautiful, and all the music uses direct quotations from the Shakespeare original. You'd appreciate it more if you'd read the play."

Scott wasn't so sure. "John, seriously, you know this isn't my thing. Why are we watching this?"

That was the question indeed.

And then, resignedly, "What else do I have to do for you to get it, Scott?"

* * *

><p><strong>AUGUST<strong>

A few weeks earlier, John had given Scott a thick red book for "light reading." Scott genuinely enjoyed reading, and John loved giving recommendations to his older brother. They'd had this tradition for years. "I think you'd like this story. It's a war story. Like the _Iliad._"

"Hey look! This was written by a Virgil."

"I know. He was a Roman poet." Scott flipped through the chapters, which were labeled in the pages as separate books. "You read the _Iliad_ right?" Scott nodded. "This gives a different perception of the Trojan War. And the last half of the book takes place on the Italian peninsula. It's all about the founding of Rome."

"Sounds great, John."

"Pay attention to Book Nine."

"Nisus and Euryalus?"

"That's the one."

"Ok."

Scott placed the book by his bedside, reading one book each night before allowing himself to fall asleep. At the end of two weeks, he returned the book to his younger brother, who nervously shifted from foot to foot.

"What did you think?"

"I liked it! I thought Aeneas was an inspiring leader for his people. I got a lot out of this one, Johnny, really. I loved the way he talked about other cultures. Even though we clearly were supposed to identify with the Trojans, he made it so that all war heroes, regardless of loyalties, get the attention they deserve."

"Yep. That's very Homeric of him. He handles Achilles and Hector in the same way." A pause. "What did you think of Book Nine?"

"Oh. I was saddened by their deaths, but it came from their carelessness, and that's the worst part. When you know their fate could've been avoided. "

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

"You seem disappointed."

"I'm not. I just really like that part of the story." John smiled.

"It wasn't my favorite, but I liked it too. Thanks for letting me borrow this. I think Virgil – our Virgil, I mean - might like it too."

"I'll pass it on to him."

* * *

><p><strong>JULY<strong>

"What are you listening to?"

John, lounging in their family climbing tree with his back leaning against the trunk and with one leg draped over a large branch, jumped slightly at his brother's voice. Not enough to dislodge him from the branch, though. John was too quick-thinking for that. Had Scott pulled that trick on Gordon or Alan, however…

Scott climbed up to a nearby branch, careful on his feet because his shoes lacked the traction of John's sneakers. John slowly removed his headphones, and although they were not loud, Scott could detect a deep bass issuing from them.

"What's up, Scott?"

"I just asked what you were listening to."

"Oh!" To Scott's surprise, John's cheeks started to redden and he lowered his gaze to the words written on his iPod. "I don't think you'd like it very much."

"That's ok. You don't have to like the things I like. But I'm still curious. You keep to yourself, kiddo, and I like learning about the things that make you tick."

"Well, ok. I guess… here. Why don't you just listen to it?" He reluctantly handed over his iPod and headphones to his brother. "Restart the song from the beginning." Scott closed his eyes and let the bass wash over him.

_There he goes. _

_My baby walks so slow _

_Sexual Tic-Tac-Toe_

"It's certainly… catchy," Scott said when the song finished, turning to face John's eager eyes, blue and wide. "I can see the appeal."

"Really?"

"Yeah really. Not my style, of course."

"He's great, and he has a fantastic voice. Let me find some of his acoustic stuff so you can really hear –"

Scott laughed. "That's ok, John. You keep listening to your old school pop music. I'm going to catch a game of pool with Virgil. Don't be late to dinner again." He returned the iPod to John before jumping down to the ground.

"Ok," John said, scrolling through the music files he had stored on the device. Scott gently placed a hand on John's dangling foot to get his attention.

"And, Johnny, don't you ever be ashamed of the things that make you happy."

"Ok, Scott." _I wish it were that easy._

* * *

><p><strong>SEPTEMBER<strong>

"What do you mean?"

"Hm?

"What do you mean, John? You said you were trying to make me understand something. _What did you mean?_" John stared into a dancing sequence at the close of _Were the World Mine_, his eyes shining and heavy.

"Do you remember Kevin Young?"

"The kid from your 8th grade class? I remember Virgil mentioning him. And his death."

"Did Virgil mention how he died? He was beaten by the basketball team because he was gay."

"I thought he committed suicide."

"He did." The weight of that hit Scott hard. Kevin had been in Virgil's music class, and they'd been decent acquaintances. Virgil had come home crying when the school announced the young boy's death. John had skipped two grades and there was a good chance he'd been affected too, but Scott couldn't for the life of him remember where John had been that day. All he could remember was Virgil burying his face in his shirt as he sobbed for a boy he'd barely gotten to know and the music the world would never hear.

"Did you know him?"

"Yes. Very well. I think he knew before I did. "

"Knew what?"

Silence.

"John. Knew what?" The young boy turned to his older brother, a fire buried deep in his eyes, just daring him to say it. And, finally, _finally,_ Scott got it. "Are you gay, John?"

And John breathed deeply, exhaling the YES he'd been harboring for three months. "The last thing he ever said to me was that I shine too brightly to hide myself from the world. That was in a text message from September 2 years ago. 9:40 PM. He died at 9:45 PM from a bullet he put in his own brain."

"I don't know what to say, Johnny. I can't believe you kept this quiet. How long have you been trying to tell me?"

"About Kevin or about me?"

"All of it."

"Awhile."

"Adam Lambert?"

John nodded. "He was an out and proud gay icon for awhile. He wore leather and make-up and strutted around not giving a damn about what other people thought. I admire him for his confidence."

"Nisus and Euryalus?"

"Famous gay couple of history. Homo-sexuality wasn't taboo in Greco-Roman society, you know. There actually was this Greek army called the Sacred Band of Thebes, which consisted of 300 gay couples. They thought their soldiers would fight better when they had something as powerful as love to fight for. They actually defeated the Spartans, and then Phillip of Macedon came in and destroyed that experiment."

"John. You're history nerd is showing."

"My everything nerd is showing."

Scott snorted and pulled his brother into a hug. "You knew it wouldn't change anything. Wait, you _do _know that right?" John nodded into Scott's shoulder. "Why couldn't you just say it then, kiddo? Why all the vague hints?"

"I just… you're the only person that knows now. I guess I just wanted you to see me. And I was scared. Of change. I'm already the awkward black sheep of the family -"

"No! That's not true. You don't give yourself enough credit."

"How am I supposed to tell Dad, Scott?" John asked, now trembling slightly in Scott's arms.

"Not like you told me. That's for sure." But the joke fell flat in the silence. "Just tell him, John. Things aren't going to change. I can be there if you want me to be."

"I do." And because John had come to him, Scott couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be, not even with Katrina the day before their homecoming dance.

"So this musical - _Were the World Mine?"_

"It's so well done. But to be honest, I just think the lead is hot."


End file.
